Odio
by MeinBritishBroski
Summary: Antonio cheats and Lovino is not sure what to do with himself when he returns in the middle of the night with a promise of change. My venting through characters. Yaoi. Spamano.


**_You know it's a bad day when I vent my situation via Spamano._**

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><p>He found himself dropped smack in the middle of a situation he couldn't even begin to comprehend. There in the middle of the porch was the course of his grief, his love; this burning passion that could not doused. Lovino trembled with an emotion he couldn't quite place. The garbled language that left his mouth made no sense, a cross between the multiple tongues he spoke; all shouting different things. He didn't know. He didn't want to know.<p>

Lovino had been coping with the fact that he had been left by himself. He had always been a second choice; that was no big deal. But it was the broken promises replaying in the front of his mind that drove him off the edge - Y_ou're beautiful. I'll never leave you. I love you. I'll never hurt you. You're the only one I love._ They were unforgivable, but Lovino refused to cry as he stood there - frozen. He had already been ridiculed. Used. Replaced. Replaced by someone more beautiful and talented, someone with their morals right - probably a beautiful woman.

"I want you here with me, bastard." he spluttered as Antonio moved forward in a futile attempt to hug the other. Tan, muscular arms -_arms that had held, loved, comforted someone else- _threatened to capture him in an embrace, but Lovino backed up and opened the door, he tried to close it before the Spaniard could get in - but he failed. Lovino was reduced to a hiccuping mess when the other spoke.

"I'm back, it's okay, mi amor. I won't-"

"You're a waste of time! I thought you would treat me better than the others have! But you... you..." Lovino found himself unable to finish. He hadn't entirely come to terms with the fact that he had been... had been... _cheated on. _He backed up until the small of his back came into contact with the dining table, then he stopped. Antonio looked utterly confused. What right did he have to put on those pleading eyes?

Lovino wanted him here; but that wouldn't help. That would open the old wound. He didn't need that.

"Get out." he whispered.

"Lovino." Antonio started, he placed his hands on either side of the Italian on the table and stared him in the eyes. Emerald to hazel.

"I know about her." Lovino looked down at the space between them and found that they were much closer than what was appropriate. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

"I made a mistake..." A kiss was initiated and Lovino's stomach flipped. Bile rose in his throat, but he found himself gripping the back of the other's shirt and moaning against the other's tongue. He wondered why. _Why is he touching me like this when he has someone else somewhere? Greedy bastard. He only wants one thing-_ It was about that time Lovino broke away and shoved the other hard so he was forced back a few feet.

"Leave!"

"Lovi, we can work this out. You know I love you-"

_"Te odio!"_

_"-y te amo, Lovino."_

_"No! Mentiroso! Te odio!_ I'll always hate you for what you've done! Even if I still love you; I'll always hate the side of you that left me here by myself!"

The empty halls had haunted him relentlessly; so had the empty side of the bed. Nobody sleeping next to him to warm him up and hold him in the early hours of the morning. For more than a year there had been no one. Lovino was crying now, inside the dark house the shadows parted and allowed his tears to shine for Antonio to see them. Only then did Antonio become horrified.

"Oh... no... lo siento."

"Why? It's my fault isn't it? I did something didn't I? Not an easy fuck, am I? Won't spread my legs at the drop of a hat for big sexy Antonio, hm? Well, fuck you! Don't apologize! Just get out! ... Now!"

Lovino put his hands on his forehead and clawed at his hair; as if his words pained him. He pointed to the door and then let his arm hang at his side. He turned and covered his face with his hands. Antonio couldn't tell if he was sobbing or not. The Spaniard touched the other's arm gingerly.

"I'm an idiot for hurting you. She will never be what you are. Just know that. Do you forgive me?"

Lovino shook his head 'no'.

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><p><em>"I hate you!"<em>

_"-and I love you, Lovino."_

_"No! Liar! I hate you!"_


End file.
